《阶级与美丽》诗人诺奖级告白翻译(6)

"I thought you meant it to be laughed at, it seemed such flattery as could only be meant to laugh at me-the most exaggerated flattery, and then the most unnecessary sarcasms. Till this moment, I always thought you were only trying to make me ridiculous."
“我觉得在你心中那些表白如同笑料一般，好像我对你的那些奉承只能让你嘲笑我——你用最无关紧要的讽刺话回应我极尽渲染的恭维之词。直到现在，我一直觉得你就是想耍弄我。”
"Oh! Wretch that I am! -You could not- Oh! No, so pure and passionless as you are-­ you could not--how can I make you comprehend the state of irritation and of madness in which I lived in your presence: and yet, out of it, such annihilation! I rushed to it again: I gazed at you from afar: you smiled -smiled upon some blest being. Stung to the quick, all was bitterness; and when I spoke even of you, or to you, it was in such an agony of jealousy, that all I said was bitterness. 

“哦！我真是个可怜虫！——你怎么能这么对待我——哦！不，你是如此的清纯又无情——你怎么能这样——我怎样能让你明白当你在时我多么焦躁与疯狂；而当你不在时我又是多么挫败与痛苦！我如飞蛾扑火般冲到有你在的地方：我远远凝视着你：看着你微笑——将微笑赐予那些幸运儿，却不赐予我。我受到了深深的伤害，这世间的一切都变得苦涩难耐；每当我只是提到你，或是对你说话，我都为强烈的嫉妒所折磨，我说的每一句话都满含心酸。”
My existence was on your looks; and to try from hour to hour, from moment to moment, what those looks would be to me, wrapt all the unrestricted energy of my soul. I have dared it at last. I have poured out before you all the faith, the fond, fond--"