花样年华 1：I Must Survive 我必须活下去-南俊(二)(4)

I almost screamed, “Stop it! What do you want me to do?” But I held myself back. Dad’s voice rang in my ears. Dad's feeble, frail voice. I thought of what he had told me that night we came home from the hospital…what I pretended not to hear but heard clear as day through the barking of dogs. What I had dwelled on over and over since that day. What I had tried not to think about. “Go, NamJoon. You must survive.”
我几乎尖叫起来:“停下!你想让我做什么?”但我忍住了。爸爸的声音在我耳边回响。爸爸虚弱的声音。我想起那天晚上我们从医院回家时他对我说的话……我假装没听见，但从狗的叫声中听得一清二楚。从那天起，我就一遍又一遍地想着这件事。我努力不去想的事情。“走,南俊。你必须活下来。”
The bus departed, set to arrive in Songju a few hours later. I didn't leave a message when I left Songju one year ago. Now, I'm returning to the city without any notice. I thought of my friends. I haven't kept in touch with any of them. I wondered what they were doing and if they were still there. I couldn't see outside through the window covered with frost. I slowly wrote on the window with my forefinger. “I must survive.”
巴士开走了，几小时后将到达松州。一年前我离开松州时没有留下任何信息。现在，我没有任何通知就回城里了。我想起了我的朋友们。我和他们都没有保持联系。我想知道他们在做什么，他们是否还在那里。我透过结了霜的窗户看不见外面。我慢慢地用食指在窗户上写字。“我必须活下去。”