花样年华 1：I Must Survive 我必须活下去-南俊(二)(2)

我把湿漉漉的树叶撒在泰亨倒下的地方。我不是故意的，但这一切都是我的责任。是我撒的氯化钙。怀着良好的意愿，防止道路结冰。事实上，我这样做是为了我自己，因为我真的相信我会在下一个和下一个交付。“你知道什么是真正危险的吗?”我在休息的时候听到的那些话又在我的脑海里回放了一遍。“他一定骑过去,滑倒了。”如果我把叶子拿走，如果我没有撒氯化钙，他会安全吗?
Several people were already at the bus stop, waiting for the first bus of the day. I nodded my head in greeting and then kept it bent. I tried not to make eye contact with any one. The first bus of the day came into sight.
有几个人已经在公共汽车站等今天的第一辆公共汽车了。我点头致意，然后一直弯着头。我尽量不与任何人有眼神接触。当天的第一辆公共汽车映入眼帘。
The bus gradually came to a stop. With my head bent low, I boarded it after the other passengers. I didn’t have a specific plan. I was just sneaking away. From Mom's exhausted face. From my brother going astray. From Dad struggling against his illness. From our family’s fortune going downhill. From my family requiring sacrifice and obedience from me. From me trying to resign to my fate. And, most of all, from poverty. Poverty eats into the heart of life. It turns what's precious into something meaningless. It makes you give up what shouldn't be given up. It makes you doubt, fear, and despair.
公共汽车逐渐停了下来。我低着头，跟在其他乘客后面上了车。我没有一个具体的计划。我只是偷偷溜了。妈妈疲惫的脸。以免我弟弟误入歧途。来自与病魔抗争的父亲。我们家的财产在走下坡路。我的家庭需要我的牺牲和服从。我试图向命运低头。而且，最重要的是，来自贫困。贫穷侵蚀人的心灵。它把珍贵的东西变成毫无意义的东西。它让你放弃不该放弃的东西。它让你怀疑、恐惧和绝望。