花样年华 1：I Must Survive 我必须活下去-南俊(二)(3)

Last night, I left the rest area, dropped by the eatery, and then went home. I don't remember who I met and what I talked and thought about in between. My entire body and mind felt numb. I couldn't tell whether it was windy, whether it was cold, how it smelled, or who I ran into My brain seemed to have frozen. I was moving mechanically like a zombie oblivious of who I am, what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I'm thinking. It was the barking dogs that shook me out of it at the mouth of the alley leading home. In that moment, all my senses, which had been paralyzed, awoke at once and countless scenes from my past spread out before my eyes: the days of hopping from one place to another, the moment I slipped on the road, me crawling to the eatery owner and competing with the other boys to land the delivery jobs, the boys who laughed at me, and me looking at my peers in their school uniforms waiting for the bus. The sound of the barking dogs and the sight of their threatening eyes filled with hatred were added to these scenes.
昨天晚上，我离开了休息区，顺便去了那家餐馆，然后就回家了。我不记得我遇见了谁，也不记得我在这期间说了些什么，想了些什么。我的整个身心都麻木了。我分不清是刮风了，还是冷了，闻起来是什么味道，或者是我碰到了谁，我的大脑似乎被冻住了。我机械地移动着，就像一个僵尸，忘记了我是谁，我做了什么，我在做什么，我在想什么。是狂吠的狗把我从通往家的巷口摇了出来。在那一刻，我所有瘫痪的感官立刻苏醒过来，无数的往事展现在我眼前:从一个地方跳到另一个地方的日子，我在路上滑倒的那一刻，我爬向餐馆老板，和其他男孩竞争送餐的工作，那些嘲笑我的男孩，我看着穿着校服等公共汽车的同龄人。狂吠的狗叫声和它们充满仇恨的威胁的眼睛都被添加到这些场景中。