【战锤40k同人作品翻译】Ennui 第二十一章：绝望 Desperate(7)

但至少以这种方式，我能在死时知道亚历莎还会想起我的脸，并且不会感到被背叛的痛苦。
这样就足够了。
“一个知晓她的地位的灵族，”指挥官的声音只是刚好能让我听到。“的确如此，神皇今日为我们降下了奇迹。”
你就是那个奇迹，伊莎莱。
回忆着小教堂里亚历莎的甜言蜜语，我不禁轻笑起来，随后闭上双眼想念起她来。我记得她在我的怀里熟睡时的触感，那份温暖，坚实而引人爱怜的重量，和她像透过青葱绿叶的阳光般的双眼。我记得她的双唇，和我们分享着我们的第一个也是唯一一个吻时的暖意，和在练习拳击后或是共浴时她与我十指相扣的感触。
“原谅我，”我几乎无声地说出这句话，然后用灵族语说出了最后一句话，我的遗言。
“我爱你，亚历莎。”
“处决她。”
话音刚落，我眼前的世界便陷入了雷鸣电闪。
原文：
Unfair.
It’s childish to think that, I know. How childish, to be my age, to have seen such injustice and perpetrated the majority of it, and then to have the thought that life was so infinitely unfair to me.

Or perhaps not.
A sullen ember of bitterness took up residence in my chest as I opened the throttle of the jetbike a little and began a low-power scan looking for signatures that matched the variations given off by Alessa’s power-armour core. All I could do was drift around the city and search, but perhaps that was a blessing.
After the conversation with Alessa… the argument? Was that an argument we had just had? I suppose in a sense, it was, but nevertheless I know I can’t face her right now. I’m too angry, too bitter, and it’s childish to think it but, honestly…