［EVA］［嗣香］What Comes After Winter（寒冬之后）(19)

She shivered, and he remembered all those times he had done nothing. The time when he had been weaker than a security tape.
明日香的身体颤抖着，真嗣想到了所有那些他对她视而不见袖手旁观的时光。那时的他是如此的懦弱无能。
He put an arm around her, cursing that tape, but not as much as he cursed his own weakness.
他伸出胳膊搂住她，痛骂自己内心的软弱。
"So please, Shinji; let me forgive you. And forgive yourself. Please."
“所以，求你了，真嗣；让我原谅你吧。你也原谅自己吧。求你了。”
Now it was his turn to take a deep breath. When he exhaled, he looked at the vapor leaving his mouth and floating up, into the soon-to-be clear sky. He thought that it would be nice, if that mist carried all of his failures, doubts, weaknesses and fears; if they vanished as easily as it did.

现在轮到碇真嗣需要深呼吸了。当他呼出那口气时，他看到这口郁气飘向即将放晴的天空。如果那一口郁气能带走他所有的失败，怀疑，弱点和恐惧就好了，他这样想到；如果这一切都能像这口气一样轻易消散就好了。
It was a naïve hope, and he knew. All those things were still in his heart, and no external miracle was going to magic them away. Only he could, and perhaps he would never be truly rid of them for good.
但他知道，这只是天真的妄想。这些沉甸甸的东西还积压在心里，没有奇迹魔法能将它们变消失。只有他自己能做到，也可能他终其一生也无法摆脱它们。
But he too wanted to live. He couldn't let those shadows control his life. He had to get out of that abyss. For him. For her.