英语笑话(二)

A young couple just moved in next door and the husband always cursed his wife. I felt pretty sorry for the wife. One day, the husband was cursing again and the wife said:”Enough is enough! Stop cursing!” Then the man cried in tears:”You hit me so heavy! Of course I can curse at you!”
隔壁刚搬来一对小夫妇，男的成天骂女的，很难听，我真为那女的感到不值。有天又在骂，女的说：“差不多就行了，别骂个不停。”然后男的带着哭腔说：“你把我打成这样，我骂你怎么了？”
My girlfriend is from Shanxi and I’m from Jiangsu. My family invited her dad to come to our house to discuss about our engagement party and wedding plan. Both my dad and her dad don’t speak mandarin and they don’t know each other’s dialects. So, here’s what we did---my girlfriend and I stood behind them and translated for them while they talked and smiled like leaders from two countries.
我女朋友是陕西的，我是江苏的。我家里就约她老爸来商讨订婚、结婚具体事项，两位老人都不会说普通话，又听不懂对方的方言，然后就出现了这样的一幕：两位老爷子就像电视里的两国领导人，我俩站在他们后边，他们说一句我们翻译一句，说道动情处，双方开心地笑笑。
A: How do you feel after getting married?
B: No pretty look, no hot body, just being broke.
A：娶了老婆感想如何啊？
B：不倾国，不倾城，倾家荡产。
I went to a jewelry store with my wife today. She said to me, “Honey, when I turn to 30, will you buy me that 24-gram gold bracelet?” I was frightened but I calmed down and said to her gently while holding her hand, “Honey, you will always be 18 in my heart.”