英语笑话(一)

I was naughty when I was young. When mom tried to beat me, I would jump and run so she couldn’t get a hold on me. Once when mom was chasing me, dad came home. He said:”Baby, just come to daddy!” I got so excited and ran into his arms. He held me up and gave me a kiss. Then he shouted loudly:”Honey, I got her for you.”
小时候很调皮，妈妈要打我，我上蹿下跳，她硬是没抓住我。这时候刚好爸爸回来看到了说：“闺女，来爸爸这。”我很是激动，赶紧扑倒爸爸怀里，爸爸一把把我抱起来亲了一口，大声叫到：“老婆快来，我帮你抓住了。”
A guy was late for our friend reunion so we ordered the dishes ahead. The restaurant was very efficient and we couldn’t help eating without the guy. Before he came, we had already finished all the food and the waiter cleaned the table for us. Then the guy showed up. When he saw the empty table, he apologized, “I’m so sorry for keeping you guys waiting. You must be hungry. Please order the dishes now and the dinner is my treat!” When we heard this, we took over the menu again in silence without telling him the truth...
朋友聚餐，有一人没到，我们就先点菜。饭店给力，菜很快上齐了，我们等了会儿没忍住就先吃了，盘子全见底了那朋友还没来。服务员特勤快把空盘子全收了，这时正好朋友到了，他看着空荡荡的桌子，忙说：“真不好意思让你们饿着肚子等到现在，点菜吧！这顿我请！”听了这话我们都没解释，默默地拿起菜单……
Once in my childhood, we were asked to pay 12 yuan for some reference books. In order to get some pocket money, I told my mom it was 20. It turned out that my mom didn’t believe me. In order to check, she went to ask Zhao Jun, my classmate and neighbor. I thought that I would get beaten up. A while later, my mom came back and glared at me, “You must have been absent-minded during the class, haven’t you?” Just when I was about to cry and admit my mistake, my mom said, “Zhao Jun said it was 50!” I was totally surprised!