【自留】Fallen From Grace by V(18)

My father's sitting in his chair in front of me. I'm holding the knife. He's sitting there, staring at me. He's not doing anything, not in particular. Just staring, his eyebrows slanted, his teeth clenched. I feel a force behind me. I can't… I must. I run forward and thrust the knife into his chest. Blood starts seething from his body and covering my face, as a river of red gushing out and drowning me. I lie back, just letting it cover me. It feels…
I stand up, feeling the weight of the blood mixed in my clothes lose its weight, as I look into my father's face. Fear… blind, unknowing… fear. It feels… great.

I open my eyes. I'm still lying, head against the rock, thumping, brutally, like a hammer on a church bell inside my skull. I lie there, staring up. The knife has fallen from the mud leaving a small hole even now being filled. The rock looms overhead. Give up, Chara, give up. Thunder roars overhead. I stand up, my legs begging me to sit down. I shamble forward, looking up at the rock. Give up, Chara, give up. I start climbing again, my nail-less fingers screaming at me. Give up, Chara, give up. I'm still climbing. Mud rushes down the hill, trying to wash me away, but I stay adamantly holding my place on the hill. Give up, Chara, give up. I find the knife. Tears mingle with the rain as I go on, grass wrapping the exposed fleshy, lumpy skin when its thrown into the hill again. CHARA, GIVE UP, CHARA, GIVE UP, the knife lands in the hill again before I thrust my hand up…